Chapter 21: Take A Step Forward
Editors: Lily & Miyuki
After I sat down in An Yuan’s car, I turned my head and asked him: “Have you been waiting for me here?”
“Uh.” Then he turned to me and said: “No need to say thank you.”
I smiled in embarrassment.
He continued to say: “While I was waiting for you, I also did some thinking about something; so it wasn’t boring”.
I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t dare to ask him what he was thinking about. Truth be told I was scared to hear his answer.
Even though we have an intimate relationship, I cannot help but to be very cautious; I’m scared that I will destroy this difficult to obtain affection.
An Yuan quietly drove the car as I looked out the window to stare at the night scenery, but I saw nothing.
The high spirit I was in from this morning was now gone.
We are all like this, work and love; these worries are like insects that keep preying on us and won’t let go.
“The outcome, well we’re all worrying about the outcome of something.”
Ah? I was startled and immediately looked at him.
He was looking straight ahead and said: “I don’t know what you are thinking, but I want to tell you the truth; we are very different in many aspects.”
My heart tightened at hearing this.
“We have only been together for a few days and we are already feeling this way, I’m not sure what would happen to us later on.”
I felt a little uncomfortable, well, very uncomfortable. It’s not that I’m not aware of the reality, but to have another person continue to tell you the reality of the matter time after time, it always makes one feel uncomfortable.
“Since Friday, we have been very reserved.”
We? I was stunned.
“Not only you, but me too.” He frowned slightly, looked at the road and said: “If from the beginning we weren’t in this kind of relationship, perhaps it would be better; suddenly we became lovers without the basic foundation, being too anxious leads to an unwanted outcome….”
After the car arrived at my house he placed his hand on my neck and turned me to look at him, then he stared deeply at me.
“So let’s take it slow, okay?”
He asked for my opinion once again, I took the initiative to kiss him. After I had pulled back I saw his ears getting all red.
I got out of the car and said goodbye, once again I watched him drive off.
Although my heart was still stifled, it somewhat felt slightly better now. We have just started, we still have plenty of time so there is no need to feel anxious, we can overcome all the gaps and obstacles in the future.
I scratched my head and began to worry about work.
Starting the next day, the company began to relax a little after launching the new product into the market. Even though the marketing department hasn’t completed all the tasks, this type of victory at the early stage already had people quite elated, tired or thinking that not all their hard work was done in vain.
All the other departments can now relax and take it easy; however, the General Affairs Department is the opposite. The subordinates of some departments had already received formal notification from the Department head stating after the product has successfully launched into the market, there will be some changes in the company’s personnel; there will be rendering to give publicity to a company’s culture, distributing employee’s benefits and so on. In layman’s terms every step requires the General Affairs Department personnel.
As for me, not only did I have the same responsibility as them but I also had to take over the organization of the grand banquet.
Even though I booked a package from the hotel and let them take care of the details, I still need to overlook the whole process, making sure there will be no mishaps. I wondered if I had offended the chief in some way or what, because he bestowed me with this whole…
It’s even more irritating when some people don’t listen to my instructions, the chief clearly said that I was the one in charge. So why did the other became so stubborn ah, it makes me so angry.
An Yuan always waited for me to finish work, even though I repeatedly told him he didn’t have to he still insisted. Well, actually I also wished to see him often and of course if we’re able to kiss in the car that is even better.
He drove the car while I massaged my neck.
“Tired?” He asked.
I nodded: “Uh, feeling tired and troublesome.”
“Troublesome? Is something bothering you?”
I was stunned and decided to say : “It’s nothing.”
The atmosphere in the car once again sunk into a pregnant silence.
Actually, I also wanted to share my stories with him, but I honestly don’t know why everytime I tell myself to talk with him more, it doesn’t matter. In fact I’m afraid my stories are not that significant.
He is a successful entrepreneur while I’m just a nobody. He frequently signs a few million dollars contracts, while I keep running to and from the warehouse in the General Affairs Department, I even have to step on a cockroach when I see one.
I know this kind of inferior feeling is undesirable, but I’m still unable to open up my heart.
I only have to give it more time, but I don’t know how much time.
The next day as I was taking a water break at the company’s vending machine, I had just picked up a cup of orange juice when someone patted my shoulder.
I turned to look, it was Mo Bai Ling.
She looked contemplatively at the orange juice in my hand and said: “Can’t you drink something a bit manlier?”
I almost rolled my eyes as I recalled that An Yuan seems to like drinking milk.
She mysteriously pulled me to a corner and asked: “How are things going with you and little uncle?”
I said: “The usual.”
She frowned and asked: “What is the usual?”
I said: “I have the right to remain silent on this matter.”
She waved in disdain: “Tch.” After that she looked me up and down and said: “My friend, your aura doesn’t look that good, things aren’t going well for you?”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
She pointed at my eyes and said: “There are even dark circles here, have you been very busy?”
I nodded, finally I found someone to talk to, so I began to pour out my heart. Saying things like: I have been very busy, I have been overworking myself, that I have turned into a walking zombie. Then I complained about how my chief is being really cruel and brutal to me and how it feels like the chief wants to work me to my grave.
Mo Bai Ling looked at me with pity and said: “The Heaven above is testing you.”
I rolled my eyes: “I can see that I’ll be exhausted to death even before I finish the Heaven’s test. All joking aside, being exhausted is one thing, but whats worse is that there are people who don’t want to cooperate.”
“What happened?” Mo Bai Ling straightened her posture and focused on me to listen.
I started to complain about the trouble that the particular personnel caused me and Mo Bai Ling would suggest some tricks that could be beneficial for me, she really is worthy to be the president’s secretary because those small tricks are very applicable.
I noticed it was getting late, so I sincerely thanked her.
She looked at me oddly and said: “You guys are just worrying too much over unnecessary things.”
I was stunned for a moment.
Finally I understood what she meant, so I regained my posture and asked her: “Did An Yuan ask you to come?”
She laughed and nodded: “He thinks that you might be more comfortable talking with me, so he asked me to go see what issues are troubling you and to help you solve them.”
I also laughed.
We both are stupid people.
Then it was Friday and I looked at my phone’s screen, I inevitably thought about Yang Jian.
I finally got myself out of their group, so the issue of torturing myself every weekend had come to a stop.
Not that I was feeling happy about it.
I just feel that I should at least have a sense of morality and should not appear in front of Yang Jian for the time being.
But I’m very grateful to him, I could only thank him for letting me have those friends.
He is also included.
An Yuan asked me: “Do you want to eat out this weekend?”
I told him I don’t want to since I’m so exhausted.
Within this moment, his panicked expression made me feel bad. I told him: “Come grocery shopping with me, I’ll cook for you.”
I feel like it would not be enough with just giving love this time, maybe I was getting influenced by the books where it’s always fair in love and war. Perhaps this is the case, but it makes me feel like my hands and feet are being bound.
Now that I think about it, for me to take a step forward is also not a bad idea.
Words from the Author:
20: The student that steps forward first will have water to drink.